hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

aur is asthirta mein kai bar

kuch nazuk mauqon par

jo hamein kahin se kahin pahuncha sakte the

arajak ho jate the

log jo kranti ke bare mein kitab paDhte rahte the

hamein krantikari man lete the

jabki hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

hum bahut upar

aur bahut niche

lagatar aate jate rahte the

hum tez bhagte the

apne aage aage

aur kai bar hum pichhe chhoot jate the

kai kai din apne se bhi pichhe

ghisatte rahte the

koi bhi cheez hamein der tak

akarshait nahin karti thi

hum bahut tezi se aakar chipakte the

aur agle hi pal galiyan dete hue

agli taraf bhag lete the

gyan hamein kanwins nahin kar pata tha

aur kitaben khulne se pahle

bhurbhura jati theen

hum apna dukh kah nahin pate the

kyonki wo hamein jhooth lagta tha

hum apna sukh sah nahin pate the

kyonki uske liye hamare bhitar koi jagah nahin thi

aur wo hamein bahut bhari lagta tha

hamare aas pas bahut sari thos chizen theen

lekin hamein lagta rahta tha

ki kisi bhi kshan hum hawa hokar unke beech se nikal jayenge

aur phir kisi ke hath nahin ayenge

hum bahut akele the

aur bheeD mein stabdh khaDe rahte the

log hamein chhune se Darte the

jaiseki hum ret ka khamba hon

hum ret ka khamba nahin the

lekin lohe ki lat bhi nahin the,

hum sirf ye nahin samajh pae the

ki bheeD se bahar rahte hue bhi bheeD mein kaise hua jata hai

jabki zyadatar chize isi par nirbhar theen

koi shiksha sansthan hamein chalaki nahin sikha paya tha

march ki gunguni hawa hamein pagal kar deti thi

aur hum sab kuch bhool jate the

hum pyar karna chahte the

lekin kar nahin pate the

hum lingbhed se pareshan the

aur sambandhbhed se bhi

samarpit yoniyon aur akramak shishn

hamari wasana ki naitikta ko kachotte the

aur hum balatkar ko anantkal ke liye sthagit kar dete the

hum apne hi sharir mein ek shishn aur ek yoni sath sath chahte the

taki hamein bhasha ka sahara na lena paDe

hamare pas bahut kam shabd rah gaye the

jin par hamein yaqin tha

aur unka istemal hum kabhi kabhi karte the

hum gunge ho jane ko taiyar the

par uski bhi gunzaish nahin thi

har baat ka jawab hamein dena paDta tha

aur har sawal hamse puchha jata tha

har jagah, har samay ek yudh chal raha tha

hum laDna nahin chahte the

lekin bhagna bhi hamare wash mein nahin tha

hum hare, hum thake, hum pichhe hate, hamne sare hathiyar unhen saump diye

baqayda unse pite bhi

lekin hamein jane nahin diya gaya

hamne parampragat apattiyon ko mauqa dena chhoD diya

parampragat paintron ko uttejit karna chhoD diya

is tarah hum faltu hue

yudh ke liye bekar

tab unhen yaqin hua ki hum laD nahin sakte

we ek dusre ko laDne ki suwidha dete hue laD rahe the

unke beech ek samjhauta tha

jo anant se chala aa raha tha,

hamne use toDa

is tarah yudh kshaetr ke beech hum bache

nihsandeh hamara yudh nahin tha wo

aur hum shuru se ise jante the

jo bhi hamse bhiDa chhataptate hue mara

kyonki wo laDne ka aadi ho chala tha

aur hum baithe cigarette pite rahte the

hum daftron se, gharon se, pitaon aur

patniyon se bhagkar

saDkon par chale aate the

jo suni hoti theen,

aur bahut sare log un par awaz kiye baghair rengte rahte the

har saDak se hamara koi na koi rishta nikal aata tha

aur hum kam se kam ek din uske nam kar dete the

hum maut se bhag rahe the

ek din hamein achanak malum hua

ki wo hamare pichhe pichhe chal rahi thi

hamara har qadam maut ke aage tha

aur uska har qadam hamare pichhe

hum jiwan bhar ek bhi qadam apni ichha se nahin chale

hamein koi pichhe se dhakka deta tha

hamein sirf bhay lagta tha

wahi hamari ichha thi

hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

aur sthagit

ye hamne marne ke baad jana ki

wo sthagan hi

darasal us samay ki sabse baDi kranti tha

hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

aur is asthirta mein kai bar

kuch nazuk mauqon par

jo hamein kahin se kahin pahuncha sakte the

arajak ho jate the

log jo kranti ke bare mein kitab paDhte rahte the

hamein krantikari man lete the

jabki hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

hum bahut upar

aur bahut niche

lagatar aate jate rahte the

hum tez bhagte the

apne aage aage

aur kai bar hum pichhe chhoot jate the

kai kai din apne se bhi pichhe

ghisatte rahte the

koi bhi cheez hamein der tak

akarshait nahin karti thi

hum bahut tezi se aakar chipakte the

aur agle hi pal galiyan dete hue

agli taraf bhag lete the

gyan hamein kanwins nahin kar pata tha

aur kitaben khulne se pahle

bhurbhura jati theen

hum apna dukh kah nahin pate the

kyonki wo hamein jhooth lagta tha

hum apna sukh sah nahin pate the

kyonki uske liye hamare bhitar koi jagah nahin thi

aur wo hamein bahut bhari lagta tha

hamare aas pas bahut sari thos chizen theen

lekin hamein lagta rahta tha

ki kisi bhi kshan hum hawa hokar unke beech se nikal jayenge

aur phir kisi ke hath nahin ayenge

hum bahut akele the

aur bheeD mein stabdh khaDe rahte the

log hamein chhune se Darte the

jaiseki hum ret ka khamba hon

hum ret ka khamba nahin the

lekin lohe ki lat bhi nahin the,

hum sirf ye nahin samajh pae the

ki bheeD se bahar rahte hue bhi bheeD mein kaise hua jata hai

jabki zyadatar chize isi par nirbhar theen

koi shiksha sansthan hamein chalaki nahin sikha paya tha

march ki gunguni hawa hamein pagal kar deti thi

aur hum sab kuch bhool jate the

hum pyar karna chahte the

lekin kar nahin pate the

hum lingbhed se pareshan the

aur sambandhbhed se bhi

samarpit yoniyon aur akramak shishn

hamari wasana ki naitikta ko kachotte the

aur hum balatkar ko anantkal ke liye sthagit kar dete the

hum apne hi sharir mein ek shishn aur ek yoni sath sath chahte the

taki hamein bhasha ka sahara na lena paDe

hamare pas bahut kam shabd rah gaye the

jin par hamein yaqin tha

aur unka istemal hum kabhi kabhi karte the

hum gunge ho jane ko taiyar the

par uski bhi gunzaish nahin thi

har baat ka jawab hamein dena paDta tha

aur har sawal hamse puchha jata tha

har jagah, har samay ek yudh chal raha tha

hum laDna nahin chahte the

lekin bhagna bhi hamare wash mein nahin tha

hum hare, hum thake, hum pichhe hate, hamne sare hathiyar unhen saump diye

baqayda unse pite bhi

lekin hamein jane nahin diya gaya

hamne parampragat apattiyon ko mauqa dena chhoD diya

parampragat paintron ko uttejit karna chhoD diya

is tarah hum faltu hue

yudh ke liye bekar

tab unhen yaqin hua ki hum laD nahin sakte

we ek dusre ko laDne ki suwidha dete hue laD rahe the

unke beech ek samjhauta tha

jo anant se chala aa raha tha,

hamne use toDa

is tarah yudh kshaetr ke beech hum bache

nihsandeh hamara yudh nahin tha wo

aur hum shuru se ise jante the

jo bhi hamse bhiDa chhataptate hue mara

kyonki wo laDne ka aadi ho chala tha

aur hum baithe cigarette pite rahte the

hum daftron se, gharon se, pitaon aur

patniyon se bhagkar

saDkon par chale aate the

jo suni hoti theen,

aur bahut sare log un par awaz kiye baghair rengte rahte the

har saDak se hamara koi na koi rishta nikal aata tha

aur hum kam se kam ek din uske nam kar dete the

hum maut se bhag rahe the

ek din hamein achanak malum hua

ki wo hamare pichhe pichhe chal rahi thi

hamara har qadam maut ke aage tha

aur uska har qadam hamare pichhe

hum jiwan bhar ek bhi qadam apni ichha se nahin chale

hamein koi pichhe se dhakka deta tha

hamein sirf bhay lagta tha

wahi hamari ichha thi

hum krantikari nahin the

hum sirf asthir the

aur sthagit

ye hamne marne ke baad jana ki

wo sthagan hi

darasal us samay ki sabse baDi kranti tha